Depth

How do you know that you or anyone else has depth to them? I read a fair number of blogs, but one has been irritating me lately for no real reason. I don't want to describe it. But, suffice it to say, that it is someone that did not make a good first impression to me. And now I am trying to figure out why because I think that I am being reactionary.

Is it because s/he really is a bit pompous? Is it pompous to discuss issues? Are my own feelings of self-worth creeping in and colouring my perception?

I would very much like to know whether my gut reaction is to be trusted.

Hahahahahaha

There is no way I am going to keep up an intelligent blog.

I saw Transformers today. Exactly what I wanted to see. Lots of action and Optimus Prime.

Happy 4th of July, sort of.

Happy independence day! At the expense of the native Americans and on the backs of slaves.

It's hard for me to celebrate.

Tuesday Science: Lucy's coming to town

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070627/ap_on_re_us/lucy_on_tour;_ylt=AgjLvm6GZVzW7HyU6KHlxawPLBIF

As the big geek that I am, Lucy is coming to town. I don't know all the details yet, but it seems that Lucy (3.2 million year old female fossils found in Ethiopia) will be exhibited. However, there seems to be some controversy about the stress of travel on these fossils. In fact, she won't appear at the Smithsonian's Natural History Museum because of this. Greedy geek that I am, I hope she shows up in the Twin Cities.

Want to know more about human evolution? http://www.onelife.com/evolve/manev.html

Monday reading: Ghengis Khan and the Making of the Modern World

This one has been sitting on my shelf for a while and recently I decided to forgo the usual chick-lit (a recent obsession) and try a little history. The author is Jack Weatherford. So far, I love it. Ghengis Khan and offspring were much more than I ever realized. I have only just begun the book but so far I find it compelling, though a little dry in the narration. But I am assuming the dryness has more to do with my recent selections of bouncy fiction than any real problems of Weatherford's writing style.

As soon as I finish it, I will give it a more thorough review.

A more recent novel is from Japan. Out a novel by Natsuo Kirino is amazing. Tension and enui amazingly combined. The main characters are a group of 4 women with a backdrop in a factory making boxed lunches. I was amazed at how I could simply hate their actions and be compelled to continue reading. The mystery is not so much a mystery, but the consequences of one action that continues to cascade throughout the book. The writing borders more on gothic, with a hypnotizing darkness that I loved. I am looking forward to other translations of this author.

Anon? Not for long with my big mouth.

I told a friend today about the blog. And then really wished I hadn't. Mainly because there isn't a thing enlightening about this blog. Oh well. Now I feel obligated to actually devote some time to issues that are a little more interesting, than just me whining. So I will have my own blogging themed days, although I will not likely blog everyday.

Monday: Reading
Tuesday: Biology/Science
Wednesday: Political roundup (as I see it, so it will likely be fucked-up)
Thursday: Grooming
Friday: Weight travails
Weekend: Whatever the hell I feel like.

Good reading JJK.

WOW, that was a long post

The weight loss thing.

Losing weight...Why is it so freaking hard?

Make calories in less than calories out. That's it. The complete and total secret to weightloss. If I follow this formula then I MUST lose weight.

Ummm. Yeah, the calories in part. I make really poor choices. I think a lot of people have gotten obese because eating out has become such a big deal. I don't know the statistics, but most of the folks that I know that are overweight, including myself, eat out regularly. Sometimes one meal a day. And that one meal is usually around 3000 calories. It starts because eating out is supposed to be a celebratory thing, right? And who eats carrots to celebrate. At least that is the way it started for us. We ate out for something to do other than stay home (in that town, eating was about the only thing to do unless we wanted to be around drunk undergraduates. Not that there is anything wrong with that, as long as you are not an over 25 graduate student). Then it morphed into not having time to cook. Then it just became habit.

Being poor will help greatly with that. It's like not keeping the food in the house. If I can't eat out, I am not likely to make hot wings or Big Macs at home. As an aside, why are all plus-size clothes so damned high-waisted?

I want to lose weight. Why? I want to feel better, age better, not get diabetes (runs in the family), not get cancer (runs in the family), and not get heart disease (runs in the family). I wish running ran in the family. I also want to be able to buy clothes in "normal" stores. I want to be able to shop in consignment stores easily. I want to be able to run and jump without feeling like I am crushing my knees.

I will lose weight. I am confident that I can lose weight, because if the formula is followed it is physically impossible not to lose weight.

So on to the "Plan".
1. State goals in achievable, realistic, and concrete language: (a.) I will lose 110 lbs over the course of 2 years by losing approximately one pound per week; (b.) Calorie consumption per day will be 1800 calories; (c.) I will keep a food diary in order to track calorie consumption; (d.) I will exercise by walking or exercise video for 30 minutes every day; (e.) I will use hand weights and resistance training for strength training 3 times a week; (f.) Water, water, everywhere. Drink it damn it.
2. Envision my success: Spend time meditating on how this will help me through energy and health.
3. Avoid problem areas, in other words, no eating out for a while and let DH do the grocery shopping.
4. Keep myself motivated. This is hard. Motivation needs to come from within for the long haul. I know, I have lost and gained the same 45 lbs numerous times over the past 10 years. I'm doing this to be in charge of my life, not just to be a certain size. And that is the internal driving force. I am doing this for me and to make my life better.
5. Don't beat myself up. There are going to be days when I eat the brownie. And that's okay. I am tired of approaching weight loss as an all or nothing prospect.
6. Finally, follow through and affirmation. I am going to use my blog as a follow-through and affirmation place. I can record for those 2 or 3 that read this my daily struggles. And if it helps someone, excellent. If it helps me, even better.

So I am going to be perfectly honest here. On this blog. I am 5'6" and I currently weigh 244 lbs. My ultimate goal is 135 lbs. But my first goal, which is easily achievable is 5 lbs. So first goal = 239.

Yay me.