Friday, April 30, 2010

NOW I'm panicked?

Okay, I go all semester with an increasing amount of 3L-itis, the whocares. And now, a week before exams I start to panic? HAHAHA, got ya! Nah. Still can't shake this feeling that in the universe, me doing only okay on my last exams is only marginally above me having perfect nails.

Every now and then, I will have a pang, a twinge, a slight pinch in the heart region. There is something I should be concerned about...now, what is it. Oh yeah, I haven't read for most of my classes most of the semester (slight exaggeration, but without exaggeration, this world would be a truly boring place). Oh yeah, I haven't outlined (that one is true), guess I should pick up a commercial or bug people who have taken this class.

Because, you see class, I checked out. I was afraid this would happen, that I would blow the chance to make a significant dent in my final GPA. I just stopped caring when I hit second semester. It was like I was on a numbing agent the entire time (nope, not even alcohol this semester). Many of my classes were interesting, but when it got time to crack open a book, Lost was on or Glee was starting back. Dinner out with my husband was far more interesting. Dinner watching an old movie, yep I'm there. Going for walks and hitting state parks, yep, count me in.

So you see, I am tired of it all and I just can't dredge up any fear of the unknown any more. Maybe that's what law school gives you, absence of fear. I am tired of being afraid. I hope this carries me through my first few years of work.

2 comments:

Michael said...

I think law school can have that effect on everyone as it becomes a battle for survival. I remember feeling numb at various times during my law degree, though fortunately (or maybe unfortunately) it doesn't last indefinitely. Things will work out just fine, I'm sure! :-)

Tree Hugging 2L said...

I guess what's concerning to me is that I have that lovely numbness to law school - and I'm only a 2L. Ha. Can't wait to see how rad next year is.