Sunday, August 19, 2012

So much, so much

I no longer have my job. I am not going into the details, except it was sudden. I am not unhappy, not really. It is a job. I am grateful that I am of that attitude. I can't imagine if this had happened in science, then I believe I would have rend and worn sack cloth. But now, I am merely resigned. The good. Time to recuperate, regroup and determine where I wish to go from here. Time to get everything around the house in order. Time to think about whether I want to continue blogging here or anywhere. The bad. Our budget is blown to smithereens. We moved because of this job, we have serious debt and two households. Rent covers part of the bill in the other state, but we must continue to pay here. And then the student loans. So in toto, I basically have 3 mortgages. Furthermore, this area offers little in my specialty, which was one major reason I was afraid to take this position in the first place, though I had little choice. But I refuse to be upset about this. I refuse to allow this to worry me. There are so many people's situations that are much worse. Students that left school with no job prospects at all, also laden with student loans. And I am beginning to believe that this may be the best for me. It has forced me to truly think about what I want out of a job. And I can't go back to the kind of work required there. I did not get into this to be involved in law other than IP and I was right. I find corporate law repetitious and dull (and I know plenty of folks out there would hate patent law or pull their hair over the nonsensical complexity of copyrights). I am somewhat more interested in litigation, but do not have the personality for it. As pointed out by others, I am too clinical, wanting to find the right answer and that simply takes far too long. Here is what you shall find here, if anyone is even still checking this site. I am going to blog about the ups and downs of job hunting, including attempting to create a position (with a place that I believe would be match with my personality pretty darn well). I am going to blog about what it means to go from not worrying about finances to watching every penny that goes out the door (we are already struggling with whether to give up hulu plus and netflix, which only comes to about $16/month, but is still an expense). And I am going to blog about my journey to overcome and use my ADHD to my advantage, rather than continually trying to deny it. It's there, I take medication for it. And now, I can move past that and deal with the everyday issues that have been a constant battle. Part of blogging about ADHD will also be blogging about my health, losing weight and exercise. Turns out exercise and eating right are important parts of taking care of ADHD. So sit back and have a little helping of Schadenfreude watching a silly little lawyer attempts to win back her pride, confidence and footing in the world (though I hate to tell you, I am not really into self-pity and all that crap) ;)

6 comments:

Virgin In The Volcano said...

Good luck, dude.

E. McPan said...

I'm glad that you're maintaining a positive attitude but I wouldn't blame you if you felt sorry for yourself at least a little bit. I've been in your shoes several times and am just coming off another long in-between-jobs period, so I hope you find something you actually want to do very soon.

Eliza said...

Thanks, Virgin. Let's hope luck is with me.

E. McPan, I am trying. I have always hated having my self-confidence tied into a situation that may be beyond my control. Doesn't mean it doesn't happen, but the best outcome will be me to not allow others to control how I feel about myself. Hope you are doing well and enjoying being of the employed :)

just jenn said...

i don't know, maybe it's different for some people, but finding the job you want and finding out that job pays the bills for the life you want? that seems to me to be a very good goal to have.
side note: can you do contract/distance patent pros/lit support work? that always seems to be in demand, depending on the science?

JD-Maybe said...

Im very sorry for you. You WILL be fine. EGO is bad! Don't let it make you feel inadequate!

Anonymous said...

thanks for sharing.