Friday, September 14, 2007

Jackass Neighbors

As a neighbor of others, I attempt to (1) not be loud; (2) not encroach upon others property; and (3) not attempt to bend my neighbor's behavior in accordance to how I feel they should act. But living next to people, there comes a moment when you just want to walk onto their lawn and torch (preferably with a flame thrower that "accidently" singes those goddamn ugly lawn ornaments that simply should be put out of their misery) the one thousandth "nice" note left by your neighbor to alert you to some major issue that must be attended to, for instance parking.

I have never enjoyed attempting to park on the street. I just don't want to do it. Luckily every where I have lived, I have made sure to have, at the least, a driveway. But our neighbors do not have a driveway. And we have people who live with us, sort of. And they have 2 automobiles. Which they park on the street. And the neighbor seems to believe that the street in front of her/his home is strictly for their use. While I know it is annoying to come home and have to walk about 10 feet more than normal, IT'S A PUBLIC STREET.

Now am I going to walk over there, hand the note back, and politely tell them to shove it up their ass? No, I am going to ask the nice couple living here to move their cars. Why? Because I KNOW in my bones that if I interact AT ALL with these people, I will become homicidal. And we own this home, we want to stay in this home. And we live VERY close to these people.

I HATE NEIGHBORS!

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