Bringing back the idea...

of a blog that is more than rants. I think once I get over some of this crap, I am going to try to spend more time on other topics than simply me. I'm tired of me.

I always thought I was to insignificant for the universe to pay me any mind

But it seriously looks as if it's out to get me. In the past 3 months, more bad stuff has happened to me or around me than the past 2 years. Some, I don't want to discuss here. It sucks, it's over with and I am movin' on.

Then there is the purse thing. Jackass cuts the screen door, walks into MY house while I am there and proceeds to steal from me. I feel unsafe, violated, paranoid, and disappointed. Mainly, I hate that some jackass can poison me on the neighborhood that 24 hours prior to the incident, I loved. Because we know it was someone in the neighborhood. All the charges were in the neighborhood (that we caught). And there are a couple of other reasons.

In my heart, I know this neighborhood is still safe (though I am much more careful than I used to be). Or at least I hope it is.

And then there is my financial aid problems. Not with the school. I am getting a sort of a bridge loan to deal with a lot of costs associated with purchasing this house, moving, and a few other things to clear up. We could do without it, but it saves us a lot of interest payments and allowed us to invest more equity in the home. But now I having spent hours (ahhhh, orientation for freshman, would that I knew) getting everything together, only to learn today that I can't do it the way normal students (including all other professional and graduate students) would. I have to do it the way the Law School has decided to set it up. Which means hours and hours of the past week (I had to do it twice with the purse stealing thing) have been completely wasted and the whole process is hung up until I get registered by them. Why so close to the start of the school year, why not a wee bit earlier? They may have perfectly valid reasons, but I don't understand them. I can handle this stuff myself, I am an adult. I am capable of walking to the appropriate office, get the forms, sign them, send them, etc. Well, I am if I know the right procedure (hrumph).

Not to mention getting all new ID with very little to bring with me. Just gotta love the DMV. Which I still haven't gotten yet, because they keep sending me away to another office. Or asking for other documentation. I finally got the student ID replaced first, since it constituted another picture ID.

Not to mention sending certified letters to freeze my credit report. And now I need to get a credit report every 3 months over the next year to make sure no one is screwing with my credit.

Not to mention the gas leak that cropped up or the water leak or the garage issue or the lack of a bed because of a door issue or the lack of the dishwasher because of a too crowded living room issue. Then there were the bruises from falling the last 3 steps of my backdoor because my dog ran after a cat. Or the shower head falling off and hitting me square on the head when I was bending over to pick up the soap (I had to say that). You wouldn't think those things would hurt, and you would be wrong. Or the falling over a box in the middle of a night, because the damn thing wasn't there earlier.

I give up. If I knew where to go to surrender, I'd be there in seconds. But they would probably refer me to another office b/c of ID issues.

And the countdown begins...

Okay, we have moved...check
We are unpacked...good enough
I have my office set up...not exactly

I had my purse stolen out of my house by some jackass that slit my screen door and walked in while I was home and never even knew s/he was here...check

Yes, not only am I dealing with all the things that I haven't gotten completed in the last 3 weeks, but now I get to wonder if someone is out there ruining my credit. Because my purse was packed for the next day, in other words it had a lot of documents that can be really useful in the identity theft game. So I have been frantically trying to figure out what to do about the many documents, credit cards (cancel), bank account (alter), and passport. My social security card was in there (going to the DMV to change my license). The government has absolutely no way to report and flag a stolen social security number. It's fucking ridiculous. They could do so much to help prevent ID theft if they did this. Even if they issue you a new number, which is rare, they still have it set up to screw you (check their website, among others). And the police are just about useless in something like this. He took a report, gave me a number, and basically said "sucks to be you. You caused this by leaving your backdoor open for a couple of hours in daylight...etc" So I feel violated by this person and feel like the police are useless in petty crimes. Except it's not so petty to me. I could get really hammered by this if the person is a pro.

Oh, well I have to stop worrying about this. It's making me crazy. I can't wait to go to law school. I want my pro bono work to be identity theft now. Change the freaking laws.

Not tired and feeling contrite

I realized today that I have been expecting my DH to shoulder far more than he should. I have been angry that he hasn't been doing everything I wanted him to do. And it finally hit me today how self-centered I have been. Yes, I have a hard summer before school. Yes, I have had to travel for a good bit of the summer as well as squeeze everything in, but he has been balancing the home front (lots of animals), work, dealing with past work, worrying about our finances, worrying about his own career direction, and having to listen to me bitch and nag. And I am likely being passive-aggressive as well.

Okay, I am going to sit back, apologize, try to redistribute what I need to do and what I can take off his shoulders (he took so much off mine so these trips of mine were a lot less hectic).

Sometimes my level of self-centeredness scares me. I know that I am that way. I am a weird product of my childhood. I was an only child that was either ignored or treated like an adult, yet I still think the world revolves around me. I think that comes from making my own world and thinking that I was much more mature than I really was. It's difficult to learn anything if you believe you are more mature than the person you should be learning from.

I hope I can juggle law school and everything else.

And I hope I don't push my husband away.

Tired and ranty

I am so tired, more from where I need to be. Every time I look at my to-do list I start to weep. That can't be a good sign. I am upset almost all the time. In the next 3 weeks, I have to

Enroll/register
Get my ID card/gym membership
Labwork: Extractions, more sample collections, more extractions, and more incubations
Housework: Unpack and get everything in order, which is made worse as the part DH is responsible for is not working out very well.
Tie up loose ends with other people

It's not the work, it's the sheer number of little things that I have to do between now and when I start classes. The ones that eat away at your time, you look back and can't believe that it took so long. Oh yeah, and the fact that I only got one week off in the past 8 months of insanity and my DH doesn't understand why I want a few days to a week before school. I don't plan to sit on my ass and eat bon-bons. I mean, what the hell is he thinking. That makes me feel totally unsupported (not to mention pissed). And he wouldn't try to stop me if I did, but the discussion would quickly devolve into a bit of a crapfest. And I am angry that I can never take time without feeling like I am a lazy swine.

Cheers, I am going to soak my head.

Busy

Too busy to really write. I have been out of internet and computer contact for a while now. Will be again for another 2 weeks.

- We moved and it didn't completely suck
- We are not even close to unpacked
- My husband is a genius when it comes to rigging anything
- I hate having to work my butt off knowing that I won't be doing this come September
- I am flat broke with all the moving expenses and other expenses that have come up
- I forgot that dealing with financial aid cuts a big chunk out of the day
- I really don't like Dell and I don't like being forced to buy a computer that I don't want or need
- It seems like the minute I get busy that is the excuse I need to stop exercising and eating right

Another eventful week.