I walked the dog for almost an hour this morning and feel good. It always amazing (yes, I am a slow learner) to me when exercise can cause a distinct shift in attitude.
So today is the Happy Post (or Grateful post):
1. I got my oil changed, radiator flushed, and window wipers replaced yesterday. Non-squeaky wipers - happy.
2. We went to my favorite Indian place last night and the service didn't suck - very happy.
3. I made dining reservations for our Thanksgiving weekend extravaganza - giddy.
4. Law school doesn't seem so daunting today. I still have 2 major papers and multiple exams to contend with but I feel better about the stuff I am doing. One of the papers is important to me. The other is starting to seem much more interesting. And I see myself improving in another class. Happy.
5. I started Weight Watcher's and weighed in at less than I thought I would - ecstatic. I ate healthy for most of yesterday and started today with a bowl of oatmeal - feeling good.
All in all not a bad week. Rough start because my black moods are intrusive and overwhelming. But I am using cognitive therapy techniques to readjust my thinking. For instance, I had fat dreams all last night (people laughing and making rude comments). I have these sometimes and wake up feeling very low. But today, I threw off the covers, put on sweats, got the dog and walked for a long time. Cleared the head.
To all those out there that are struggling with negative feelings stemming from LS, I don't have any good advice. It's all been said. But I hope that you can find something that will get you through this. From now until graduation, I am going to try (I said try, dammit) to keep a more positive spin. Mom always said to fake it and maybe it would happen.
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3 comments:
I'm faking it too. But it can't make things any worse to pretend that things are better than the seem.
I don't think that made any sense, but I'm working on the third paper of the weekend and kinda sorta want to die. Or just watch copious amounts of television with a good brown ale and a box of Cheeze-its. Cheeze-bits and beer beat dying. Any day.
Glad to hear you're in the right frame of mind and good luck with all of your work.
Thanks. I am trying to fake caring right now that any work I am doing is worth a crap.
Your load of work far outweighs mine. I think 2 papers is plenty and the fact that one is a group paper takes some of the pressure off. Plus, I can't do literary theory or criticism worth a flip. Every flippin' paper came back with "this is a circular argument."
Hope you get that beer and Cheeze-its break.
Eliza, So glad you're feeling good, and it was good for me to read the post. Exercise seems to be one of the first things to go when I get busy, and it's so wrong that it happens that way. Because I KNOW that exercise makes me feel better. And yet I can't seem to get myself to make time for it in my day. If I feel like I need down time, I just end up watching tv or something (a la virgin), and I don't actually end up feeling any better. Anyway, I'm not sure anything's going to change at this moment, but I appreciate the reminder. Hope you keep it up!
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