Thursday, April 19, 2007

Summer before 1L

Well, spring actually. I am getting antsy about starting, which I suppose has as much to do with wanting out of what I currently do as wanting to be in school NOW. I wish the university I was attending had the summer start program (I am such a geek).

But now, I wonder what I should do. Most people say there is really nothing I can do to prepare for law school. That doesn't sound right to me. I feel like there should be some way that I can prepare. Therefore, I am preparing the only way that makes sense to me: I am going to lose weight and get into a fitness program.

So to diet:
1. Cut out sugar (ow, ow, ow, ow). Why do this? Sugar saps the life out of me. It always has. Plus if I start now, I may be over the shakes by August. Yes, I get the shakes. I get headaches. There will be nights that I won't be able to sleep. It sucks. People think I exagerate about this, but I am completely serious. I gave up smoking (after smoking almost two packs a day for 15 years). And, for myself, it was much easier than giving up sugar.
2. Protein. It is the only thing that conteracts the sugar thing.
3. Fruits and vegies- TONS of them

1. Get off my duff and walk during the day.
2. Get in 3 aerobic sessions a week.
3. Toning, Tuesdays, Thursdays, and on the weekend.
Stretch every day so I don't get sore.

Will this help me? Yes. When I have energy, I think better. When I feel good about myself, I project a much more positive attitude. Being very heavy (probably could lose 100 lbs) makes my body hurt, makes me tired all of the time, and makes me just negative about a lot of things. So instead of reading a bunch of books that will likely scare the crap out of me about law school, I am going to train for it.

I am also taking a law preview course. Any opinions on this?

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Avid posters

I doubt I will be like the many people I see/read who post every day. I want to get to a point where I post a few times a week, maybe write about certain issues or thoughts.

But I am being pulled in a different direction also. I wanted to talk about so many different things, yet I feel the need to also talk about purses, shoes, and hair products. Maybe because of a site I love (Dizzy; I will try to link later). I love reading her posts.

I am torn, but I think a balance can be reached. I think she has. If you read her posts, numerous entries discuss real issues (law school, being taken seriously, and many other issues). But I read comments and people treat her like a stereotype. Didn't she take the LSAT? Get into law school? Have a career prior to law school? Her posts, along with commenters from that school, helped me to decide not to attend a certain law school.

Anyway. I want it all; shoes and intellectual discourse. Ya know, like Dizzy does it.

Friday, April 6, 2007

Confusion hurts everyone

Being confused about the course of my career hurts me as well as my family. You see, they are waiting for a final decision. This decision involves whether or not to move to another state, whether or not to take out massive student loans, and leaving a career in which I have prepared for close to 18 years.

I started out as a lab technician in a biotech company years ago. I decided I liked working in a lab and could make more money if I had a Master's. So I got the Master's. Then went on for a Ph.D., which took much, much longer than it should have. Now I have spent 4 years in postdoctoral positions. I know I don't like teaching. I am pretty sure I wouldn't enjoy being faculty in other areas either, such as committee work. But I still like the science. I have just felt that in the past couple of years, I shouldn't be doing science.

1. Spending large chunks of time avoiding working. I mean large, as in days. Then working nonstop to catch-up for weeks. And then not disciplining myself into a regular schedule.
2. Dread when I wake up, not wanting to go to work, not wanting to interact with anyone.
3. More and more isolating myself from people. I do not socialize any more. I have stopped doing anything other than work and avoid work.
4. Having a difficult time mustering up the enthusiasm to put together projects.

Does this mean that I am done? Does this mean that I should push off and find another career? Or does this mean that I need to take a step back, shut-up, and start taking this more seriously?

I don't know what to do. I am at an impasse and it sucks. Not only for me but everyone around me.

I hate this.