Friends

Over the past week, I have been reconnecting people from my past, friends and family, due to a tragedy that occurred (not using this term lightly). And it's a little disconcerting that it took this event to get in touch with these folks.

I thought to myself a million times that I should call X. Now I won't be able to do that. I don't want to make this mistake again. And it seems that everyone I knew back then feel the same way. We have been calling, FBing, and making plans to get together.

So the moral to this story, don't put off making contact with the people important in your life. I am having difficulty writing this without sounding overly-sentimental or trite. But after this, if the result was more connections and, quite frankly, more caring, then, well, it wouldn't be a complete tragedy. Sorry, I just don't have much of a way with words.

1L grades

I hate it when 1L grades come out. The plaza gets quiet and people look scared. It's demoralizing to see so many vibrant individuals buy that grades are the end all, be all. I wish there was a way to make grades go away. I suppose that's impossible for most schools, how else would we rank you and make you feel bad about yourself (or good, depending on where you fall in the curve).

On another note, I have to control my spending. I think my hubbie is about to blow a gasket on our money issues. It's a terrible thing when I think I deserve that $5 coffee because of how hard I am working. Time to rethink my priorities.

Oh God, It's That Time...0L

I just say this over at Dennis'. Yep, it's time for the next crop of idiots to start looking at the different schools and weighing their options for law school.

I have a couple of things to add. And yeah, this is completely unsolicited advice. One is specifically for second career folks.

1. I don't care how smart you think you are and I don't care what you think about how you are going to do. Someone is in the top 10% and everyone else in the other 90%. Odds are not in your favor. Good luck.

2. Where you go is sort of important. But most of the people I know were hired not based on where they went to school. And before someone out there starts correcting me, I know people from a number of schools, including Texas, Harvard, and Stanford. And it's all anecdotal anyway. The only guarantee is a Supreme Court clerk. Sure, there are exceptions, but THEY are EXCEPTIONS.

3. As to #2, if you are going to a third or fourth tier, you are not likely to go into BigLaw. Yeah, it's stupid, but true. I have numerous contacts at 3rd and 4th tier students that graduated 2 years ago without a job. And they still don't have one.

4. The job market sucks. And I don't mean normal sucks, I mean top 10%, Law Review folks not getting jobs. And the worst part is that even with a summer position, it's no longer a guarantee for anything. I know too many people that did not get an offer because no summer clerk got an offer. Or because the firm knew it was only offering to a small percentage. Guess what you get to do for the third year? Yeah, sucks.

5. The pay is going down, not up. Yeah, you read that right. Many firms are freezing raises, eliminating paying for bar prep courses and other bar stuff, and lowering starting salary. Yeah, there are a couple of people that will get that crazy 160K. But even that might go away.

6. Stop listening to the idiots that say "A Law degree is highly marketable in other careers." Bullshit. Would you hire someone that could potentially leave once the legal job market got better? Or how about wondering if this person with the JD is going to actually have the skills you need? Or wondering if you will have to pay more? It's idiocy. Career services and others trot out a few examples of people that did something other than law. But I have worked before and know a number of second career folks and people outside of law. They all laugh at this. And if you add up all the debt, unless you have a great scholarship, whatever you are going to start at, money wise, is unlikely to give you much breathing room.

7. And that brings us to debt. It's a ton. And unless you are making over 70K (break even for the debt) when you graduate, it's simply not worth it. Especially with the attrition rate. You work for 5 years and then quit, then it's really not worth it.

8. Last, but not least, if you are second career and think anyone is going to give you credit for your previous career, forget it. If you have connections, great. But the actual work that you did does not equate well to law, I really don't care what it is. And for you scientists, yeah, Ph.D. is great, but not that great.

Bitter? Not really. I am only trying to say what no one told me before doing this. You are going to ignore it any way. God, you poor, poor souls.

No sense of fashion what so ever

I should have been an engineer. I have absolutely no sense of fashion...or dressing myself in a way that says "hey, I give a crap about what I wear." Even when I am trying to express that. Even when I try, something is always missing. I had to have a second set of my makeup at work because I would completely forget to put it on in the morning. Or accessories of any kind. I got the suit down, sort of. I grabbed the wrong jacket one day. Yeah, dressing disasters happen to me all the time. Especially stains. My DH banned white pants and tried shirts for me. I actually attract spaghetti sauce, even when there appears to be none in the vicinity.

And yet, through the '80s I could really put a neon outfit together. Very into makeup, accessories. WHAT HAPPENED??? I am sitting in my living room in my zip-up, old man sweater with the pockets, jeans that don't fit (like fall down baggy, where did I get these?), and a t-shirt that has seen better days. I WORE THIS TO SCHOOL. GACK, I am feeling that there really is no hope. I need serious professional help.

Opinions

Would you assume that you know more about a particular subject than the person next to you, even though though the person next to you once had a career in that subject and the most that you have done is read maybe a few articles or an opinion piece?

I try to shut up when I know the person that just corrected me has a LOT more experience in the area than I do. I would suggest others do the same.

Thanks, But No Thanks reminded me why I hate some classes

This post at Thanks, But No Thanks, reminded me that I have become a complete curmudgeon.

Here is why: I am tired of everyone's opinion. I know, I know. Civil discourse leads to bright lights, or something to that effect. But I am so tired of everyone's opinion. Yo, bleeding heart, yes, people are oppressed. But babbling about it over and over with no discussion of how to deal with the problem in a way that isn't "here, let's give over complete control to the oppressed for a while and see what happens" isn't a solution. Why? Because you are never getting that one by the oppressor. May be a good idea, I have no idea. But can we at least shine the light of practicality over your head for a bit.

And you, Republican die-hard conservative that believes your lily-white ass is the oppressed, I got news for you, no. Tell me about all of your experiences of being followed in a store by security or having your bag searched because they suspected you. Or how about even just the amount of time the police/ambulance took to get to your home. Oh wait, you are just pissed that there is a thing called minority scholarships. You didn't raise a fuss over legacies. You didn't freak out when supposedly neutral golf scholarships were available (undergrad..the photo board looked exactly like you would think, Tiger Woods or no Tiger Woods). And stop your bitchin' because according to your predictions, pretty soon you are going to be in the minority and will be able to take advantage of said scholarship.

Oh, and you..."That Kid." Read one more passage out of the book and I will throw mine at you. Guess what, I may not look athletic, but I have always had a helluva arm. And stop asking me theory Q's after class. (Pointing at self) 3L...DON'T CARE about your take on things. You may be bright, but since you seem to only care about the sound of your voice, no speeky the english.

Wow, I can't believe that came out. I thought I was amused in my class by the goings-on. Apparently, I have been very very pissed off for about 5 weeks. Huh, who knew.

In Our Long Struggle...We Cannot Forget The Right To Go Shoeless

I was thinking about this the other day. It came up because I am always amazed at someone that goes barefoot in winter. I do not have the same reaction as other. It doesn't bother me. I just keep thinking "brrrrrr." It probably doesn't bother me b/c I actually hate shoes. I couldn't wait for summer for when I could ditch the shoes. Now I rather like shoes. I don't wear the ones I really like because I would kill myself in them (falling, etc).

But I digress. I found, while meandering on the internet, this interesting appellate case affirming summary judgment for the defendant.

Essentially, Pl sued for being tossed out of a library for being barefoot. His argument at the appellate level is that this was a violation of his 1st, 9th, and 14th Amendment rights (the least laughable was the at the ban was a violation of the right to receive information). This case went from a state court, removed to federal district court, and then to an appellate court. Because the guy wanted to go barefoot in a library. Does anyone else think this might have been a waste of the court's time? Please tell me that I am wrong on this one, but I can't believe the guy wasn't fined for wasting time and money.

I do find interesting things on the internet when I am supposed to be studying.

No Matter What...My psyche will take a beating

I am trying to write an entry about a situation that is really taking a toll on my confidence and self-esteem, worth even. But I am having a difficult time doing so in a way that doesn't make it obvious what I am talking about. Suffice it to say, I am in a situation that is in the past but is still haunting me through emails. And in this email back and forth, I feel like the bad guy in every which way possible. Yes, I am partly responsible for the situation. I should have asked questions sooner, I should have expressly warned certain players that I can be extremely slow sometimes. I may not have put my all (or a ton) into said situation, but I did this thing, project, if you will, and now I am done. Only I am not done. Because I keep getting emails. The person emailing is not a bad person, only a dissatisfied person.

So here I am in my head and this is what I hear:

You should have worked harder, much harder.
You did a piss-poor job.
You never finish anything.
You will always disappoint everyone.

These are the voices that have caused me to withdraw from a lot of things. I just don't want to disappoint others and myself any more.

What the voices (really, not schizophrenic) never say is evidence to the contrary. Papers have been published, degrees got, orders completed, papers done, grades of a complete nature, projects finished. But even as I write these things, there are counters to each and every one. Would you all just shut up.

Over the next few months I am going to adopt the techniques from Taming Your Gremlin. I want to get rid of these voices that keep me from being a whole person. Today's technique (and one that will take a while to master) is the just notice the gremlin. It's a basic separation technique. The gremlin (or voices) are not me. They are a composite of every thought, outside person's judgment, etc, I have seen in my life. The REAL me would acknowledge, accept and learn from: (1) I did not do my best, (2) but I did what I could, (3) I learned that I do not juggle so many things well and should have said so immediately, (4) I learn very slowly when things are done in small chunks spaced apart, and (5) another person's opinion of me is just that person's opinion.

Calvin and Hobbes

I still miss that damn cartoon.

Punxsutawney Phil Hates Me

As for my feelings on winter, see other post. Suffice it to say, that little bastard has condemned me to another 6 weeks of freezing cold weather, slick sidewalks, idiots that think b/c they drive a four-wheel drive vehicle can speed through icy streets, and staying indoors.

You see, I was once a woman who loved to go outside. I will walk for hours when the spirit so moves me. Hike, even. The spirit, however, does not tend to move me here. It's winter so long that I can't remember why I liked the outdoors in the first place. And I have noticed another thing. When I am in southern or western states (told ya' we moved around a lot), I slim down while there (well, not slim, but at least less corpulent). I have been in the north for a combined total of 11 years and I blame this place for every freakin' pound that I have packed on.

Enough is enough. Come August, I will pack my bags, head to a southern state, and commence my walkin'. I want to roast in 100 degree weather and 90% humidity. I want to get used to the house being at 85 degrees in the summer and call that cool. I want to bask in the frying pan like qualities of my steering wheel when I get in my car. I want to, for 3 months out of the year, hear "Hot enough for ya?" instead of "Cold enough for ya?" These things are my God-Given Rights as an American (cue the music)...