I don't want to go to law school and have a rehash of every other endeavor I have attempted. I want to do my best without losing my soul. I want to work very hard and then take time off. I want to not compare myself to everyone within days of starting. I want to drop the chip on my shoulder.
I got a Ph.D. but I didn't do as well as I wanted or could have. Yes, I am going to the law school that I want to attend, but I got into very few. I'm not like all those out there that are agonizing where to go. I got into 4, only 1 in the top 20. That was the one I really wanted to go to, so I am lucky. But I hear things like, well, it's not T14 or top 10 or whatever. I don't want to feel bad about this. I am in a good program, where I wanted to be.
What I have not done in my life that I planned to do:
1. I never joined Peace Corps
2. I did poorly in undergraduate
3. I didn't bust out double digit publications
4. I still spend far too much time watching television
5. Lose weight, get in shape
6. Run a marathon
7. Be popular (huh?)
There are many, many others. I can't believe that my self confidence is still so low after all these years.
This is a random entry because I haven't slept very well for weeks and I am losing a lot of perspective here.
I have been depressed about where I am in my life. In high school, I thought I could achieve so much, help so many people. Now I just feel like a failure. I need to go to bed soon.
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2 comments:
Welcome to the blawgging community! With as much experience in higher education as you have, I'm sure things will be fine for you the next few years. It'll be hard--oh, I expect it'll be quite hard--but you can do it.
Good luck!
Thanks, I hope it won't be a huge shock. I am terrified as I haven't been on the other side of the classroom in a long time.
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